c/trauma·Posted by u/malik_j·1h ago
How do you rest when you've spent years on alert and still feel like you have to earn it?
It's Sunday at 3pm. I have a free afternoon. I made a list anyway: laundry, emails I don't need to send, wiping a stove that is already fine. If I sit down I feel like I'm stealing. I spent years on alert. Rest still feels like a prize for finishing a job that never ends. I napped for twelve minutes and woke up guilty, then unloaded the dishwasher to pay myself back. I don't need a lecture about deserving sleep. I need the unglamorous version of how you clock off when your body still thinks sitting is a mistake. Do you set an end time, like 4pm the chores are done even if they're not? Or do you have to trick yourself — a show, a walk — because "rest" as a plan just sits there like a dare?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/maya_patel1h ago
I set a timer for 25 minutes of lying on the couch with a show I've already seen. Not sleep, just horizontal. When it dings I can do one chore if I have to. Horizontal is the loophole.
u/daniel_cho1h ago
Paying yourself back with the dishwasher after a nap is painfully familiar. I leave one mug in the sink on purpose now so the kitchen can't be "done." Done is what starts the next list.
u/jade_c1h ago
Do you rest better if someone else is in the apartment, or worse? I can only sit if my roommate is home, which is annoying, because then rest depends on their Sunday too.
u/ben_okonkwo1h ago
4pm cutoff. Whatever isn't done waits. I put the laundry basket in the closet so I can't see it. Out of sight is not healing. It's just how I get a Sunday.
u/sophie_lang59m ago
Walk first, then sit. If I sit first I bounce back up. The walk tricks my brain into thinking I earned the couch. I wish it was more elegant. It isn't.