c/self-esteem·Posted by u/ben_okonkwo·1h ago

Why do I dismiss praise from people who love me but believe a stranger's criticism?

My sister told me I handled a family dinner well. I said she has to say that. A random person in a Facebook group called my comment "try-hard" and I thought about it for two days. I can still quote the Facebook line. I cannot quote what my sister said without rolling my eyes. Same at work: if my closest teammate likes a draft, I assume they're being kind. If someone I barely know leaves a dry note, that's the truth. It feels safer to trust the cold version. The people who actually know me must be biased. The stranger has no reason to lie. I know that's a bad scoring system. I still use it. How do you let a compliment count when it comes from someone who is on your side?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.