c/relationships·Posted by u/nora_klein·1h ago
Do you also read a whole mood into a two-word text from your partner?
He wrote ok going to gym at 6:12. No period, no emoji, which I know is stupid to notice. By 6:20 I had decided he was mad about this morning, when I was short with him about the wet umbrella on the floor. By 6:45 I sent are you upset with me and he sent back what? no. doing deadlifts. I felt ridiculous and also not relieved, because now I'd shown him the spiral. He came home sweaty and confused why the umbrella was still the topic. This happens with k, with on my way, with a thumbs-up on a photo I sent of the cat. I can talk myself down if I wait. If I don't wait I turn a logistics text into a referendum. He isn't a poet over text. He never was. I still fill in the blank with the worst voice. Do you tell them you're doing this, or does naming it just give them another thing to be careful about?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/ben_okonkwo1h ago
ok going to gym with no emoji as a 30-minute trial... i've prosecuted a k like it was a legal document. he was in a parking garage. there was no tone. i invented a whole voice.
u/sophie_lang1h ago
i told him i read tone into short texts. he started adding not mad which was ugly and helpful for a month, then we dropped it. he still writes like a telegram. i wait 20 minutes before i interrogate the umbrella.
u/daniel_cho59m ago
deadlifts vs the wet umbrella referendum is funny and painful. do you want him to write more, or do you want your brain to stop casting him as annoyed? those are different asks.
u/maya_patel58m ago
the not-relieved feeling after he said no is the part people skip. i get the answer and still don't believe it for an hour. you're not ridiculous. the spiral already started at 6:12.