c/personality·Posted by u/sophie_lang·1h ago

Why does the work version of me feel fake even when I'm good at the job?

Every morning standup I hear myself before I hear the words. Bright, quick, I've got it. Then I take the stairs to the parking garage, sit in the car, and my face drops like I took off a jacket. I am good at the job. That's what makes this weirder. It's not that I'm failing. It's that the person who talks in that circle doesn't feel like the person who buys groceries later. I used to think everyone did this. Then I had lunch with a coworker who talks the same way in the break room as she does on a call with a client. No gear change. I watched her and felt tired. I don't think I'm lying at work. I think I built a useful version and now I don't know how to turn the volume down without looking checked out. Friday drinks with the team are the worst. I have to keep the standup voice going for two extra hours. Does your work self feel like a costume, or is that just me?

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