c/personality·Posted by u/ben_okonkwo·1h ago

Is people-pleasing just peacekeeping, or am I disappearing in the room?

Sunday lunch at my uncle's house. He started in on politics, my cousin pushed back, and I felt my whole body look for the exit that isn't an exit. I refilled water glasses. I asked my aunt about the potatoes. I laughed at a jab that wasn't funny so the table wouldn't tip. By the time we left I'd said almost nothing that was mine. I tell myself I'm keeping the peace. That's the story that lets me sleep. Then I sit in the car and I'm annoyed at everyone, including me, because I spent three hours being furniture. At work I do a smaller version. Someone dumps a last-minute task, I say no problem, and I eat lunch at my desk. They think I'm easy. I think I'm avoiding a two-minute awkward conversation. I don't want to pick fights at lunch. I also don't want to keep leaving rooms having only been useful. How did you stop smoothing everything without turning the table into a mess?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.