c/depression·Posted by u/ben_okonkwo·10h ago

Why does opening the curtains feel like a decision I have to postpone until noon?

The curtains in my bedroom are those cheap grey ones from the first apartment. This morning I sat on the edge of the bed at 7:50, looked at the gap where the light was trying to come in, and thought later. Later became 11:40. I ate cereal in the half-dark with my laptop already open for a standup I joined on mute. Nobody on the call could tell. I could tell. Opening them is not hard. My arms work. It is the idea of the day actually starting once the room looks like daytime. I keep telling myself I will do it after coffee, after email, after I feel more like a person. The person does not arrive and the room stays a cave. Anyone else negotiate with a piece of fabric like it is a boss?

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