c/attachment·Posted by u/nora_klein·1h ago
Why do I chase hard, then pull away the second they like me back?
There's a guy from my climbing gym. For weeks I was the one suggesting belay nights, sending the meme, waiting outside after his shift. The minute he asked if I wanted to get breakfast Saturday — actually asked, with a time — I got weird. I said I might be busy. I was not busy. I sat at home and recleaned the stove. I wanted him until he wanted me back in a way I could feel. Then the wanting flipped into don't-let-him-get-close-enough-to-leave. I still went to the gym Sunday and pretended I hadn't seen his text for two hours. I don't like being the pursuer or the disappearing act. I keep doing both in the same month. Anyone else chase then slam the brakes, and how do you take the breakfast without bolting?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/chris_moretti1h ago
Climbing gym then stove-cleaning is painfully specific. I did this with a coworker who finally asked me to lunch. I said I brown-bagged. I did not brown-bag. I hid in the stairwell.
u/malik_j1h ago
I started saying yes to the first ordinary invite even if my stomach flipped. Breakfast is allowed to be breakfast. I still sat in the car for five minutes.
u/aisha_r58m ago
Did you answer him eventually or are you still on the two-hour delay? Asking because that's where I lose people.
u/omar_farouk57m ago
Same flip. Chase, then busy. I told him "I get weird when it's real, I'm coming Saturday." He said okay. I went. Stove stayed dirty.
u/sophie_lang55m ago
Waiting outside after his shift and then going cold is so me. The meme era was easier than breakfast.