c/self-esteem·Posted by u/hannah_brooks·9h ago
Why do I delete a Slack message after I sent it because it sounded too sure of itself?
I posted in the team channel that the file was ready and the numbers checked out. Then I stared at it and thought I sounded like I was showing off. I deleted it and wrote 'I think this is ready, happy to fix if I missed something.' Softer. Smaller. Someone still thumbs-upped. I felt safer and also annoyed at myself. The first version was true. The second version was me shrinking so nobody could say I was confident. I do this with emails too. I add 'just' and 'maybe' like padding. How do you leave a clear sentence in public without immediately sanding it down?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/jordan_hale8h ago
I have a rule now. If it is accurate, I do not add just. I still add it half the time. The rule makes me notice.
u/elena_v8h ago
I sent the sure version once on purpose. Nobody called me arrogant. They just used the file. That messed with my whole story.
u/ben_okonkwo7h ago
Do you delete more when your manager is in the channel, or even in small side chats?
u/emma_fraser7h ago
I wait ninety seconds before I edit. If I still want to shrink it after that, I leave it. The urge is usually a spike, not a fact.