c/self-esteem·Posted by u/ravi_kapoor·1h ago

Do I keep picking friends who treat me the same way I treat myself?

I cancelled on a friend last month because I was exhausted. She said "typical" and didn't text for a week. I apologized four times. A different friend talks over me every time we get drinks and I laugh like it's our bit. I noticed this week that I pick people who are a little dismissive, a little hard to impress, and then I work overtime to stay in. Meanwhile I have one person who actually asks how I am and I feel itchy around her, like she's being too nice and I'll owe her. I don't think these friends are villains. I think I trained myself to expect a certain temperature, and warmth feels fake. Has anyone changed the kind of people they keep without turning into a lecture about "standards"?

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