c/relationships·Posted by u/sophie_lang·1h ago

Who is supposed to notice the mess first, or is that just a dumb fight?

The recycling has been overflowing since Wednesday. I walked past it four times. He walked past it. Thursday night I finally tied the bag and took it down two flights. When I came back he said you didn't have to sigh like that. I didn't think I sighed. Maybe I did. It isn't that he never helps. He cooked Tuesday. He did sheets last weekend. But the stuff that sits in the common space — crumbs on the counter, the wet towel on the chair, the pile of mail — waits until I get itchy enough to do it, and then I am the nag and he is the one who didn't see it. I asked him once, half joking, do you actually not see the towel. He said he sees it and plans to get it later. Later is after I've already done it, usually. I don't want to be the household manager. I also don't want to live around a towel on a chair until Friday. How do people split noticing without one person becoming the hall monitor?

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