c/relationships·Posted by u/nora_klein·13h ago
How do I tell my partner their group chat makes me feel like a guest in my own house?
He has a group chat with three friends from college. Fine. What is not fine is dinner. I am across the table with actual food and he is grinning at a thread I cannot see, saying 'sorry, one sec' four times. Last Tuesday I asked what was funny. He said 'you wouldn't get it' and went back to typing. I laughed like a good sport and then did the dishes feeling like I had been seated at the kids' table. I do not want him to drop his friends. I want to eat without competing with a chat that started in 2014. How do you say that without sounding like you are banning joy?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/emma_fraser12h ago
I asked for phones in the other room until plates are done. Not forever. Just the meal. He hated it for a week. Meals got quieter in a good way.
u/ben_okonkwo11h ago
You wouldn't get it is a rotten sentence. I would tell him that exact line, not a speech about phones.
u/jade_c11h ago
Does he do it at restaurants too, or mostly at home where the table is 'safe'?
u/ravi_kapoor10h ago
We do a 20-minute catch-up after dinner where he can recap the funny part. I do not need the chat. I need not being the extra.