c/personality·Posted by u/malik_j·1h ago
Is it normal to care about someone and still not want to talk every day?
I have a close friend who sends a voice note every night, usually while she's walking her dog. I like her. I like the notes. I listen to them the next afternoon on the bus and reply with a paragraph. She wants the back-and-forth the same day. If I wait, I get a you okay? which is kind and also makes me feel like I failed a test I didn't know I was taking. I don't go cold on people. I remember her stuff. I show up when she's moving apartments. I just don't have a daily chat in me. After work my personality wants a quiet kitchen, not another conversation with a beginning and an end. She says that's how friendship works. Maybe for her. For me, caring doesn't equal a streak. I keep wondering if I'm a bad friend or just a low-frequency one. Anyone else love people in a way that doesn't look like constant contact? How do you say I care about you without signing up for every evening?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/nora_klein1h ago
Dog-walk voice notes every night would undo me. I care a lot and I still go quiet after 8.
u/theo_ramirez1h ago
I told a friend I reply in batches. She hated it for a week, then started doing the same. Not a guarantee.
u/jade_c1h ago
Does the you okay? come from worry, or from her wanting the streak? Those feel different.
u/lila_nguyen1h ago
Showing up for the move is the friendship. The nightly note is a habit. I had to say that out loud to myself for months.