c/depression·Posted by u/ben_okonkwo·1h ago

How do you keep showing up at work when you feel completely empty inside?

I sat in the 10am standup this morning and when they asked for my update I read three bullet points off a sticky note on my laptop. After I finished, nobody said anything weird. I still felt like I was not in the room. I nodded at the right times. I typed in the shared doc. At lunch I ate a sandwich at my desk and could not tell you what was on it. People here think I am reliable. I am hitting dates. That is the part that makes it lonelier, because from the outside the day looks like a day. Inside it is like I mailed a cardboard version of myself to the office and I am watching it from the hallway. I walked to the bathroom twice just to stand there and look at the tile. How do you keep doing the job like this without it leaking, or does it always leak eventually?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.