c/attachment·Posted by u/ben_okonkwo·1h ago
How do I tell a real gut feeling from anxious attachment making it up?
She canceled Friday drinks with a short text: "wiped, rain, can we do Sunday?" I was standing under the awning at the bar we'd picked, already there. My stomach dropped in a way that felt like information. Then my head wrote a whole plot — she's with someone else, she's done, I'm the backup plan. Sunday she showed up with wet hair and a stupid amount of garlic bread and seemed... fine. Happy even. I still keep replaying Friday like my body knew something my eyes didn't. I have been wrong before. I have also ignored a bad feeling and looked stupid later. I don't want to interrogate her about rain. I also don't want to talk myself out of something real. How do you tell the difference between "this is off" and "I stood outside in the rain and my brain filled the gap"?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/maya_patel1h ago
Standing under the awning is brutal. I once waited 20 minutes at a pizza place and decided he was cheating. He was stuck on a bus. The body drop isn't always a lie but it's not always a detective either.
u/jade_c1h ago
I write down the "plot" in my notes app before I send anything. Next day I read it and it's usually a movie, not evidence. Friday-rain-cancel still sucks though.
u/priya_nair59m ago
Did she usually cancel last minute before this, or was Friday a one-off? That's the only question that helped me.
u/chris_moretti58m ago
I asked one concrete thing: "were you actually wiped or did you not want to come?" She said wiped. I hated how blunt it was. It beat the garlic-bread Sunday where I was still mad about rain.