c/trauma·Posted by u/emma_fraser·1h ago
Needing help used to feel dangerous. How do you actually let someone carry a bag?
My neighbor offered to carry a package up the stairs because I had a grocery bag and a busted zipper. I said "I've got it" so fast I almost dropped the box. Then I stood on the landing feeling stupid because my shoulder was actually hurting. Needing help used to feel like the start of a problem. Even a package. Even a ride to the airport. I can ask for a password reset at work. I cannot let a person hold a door and a box at the same time without bracing for the cost. I want to practice in small, boring ways. Not a personality rewrite. If you learned to let someone help after it used to feel unsafe, what was the first small yes you actually said? And did you feel worse that night, or was it just awkward and then over?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/sam_whitaker1h ago
First yes was letting a coworker grab me a coffee because they were already going. I felt weird until lunch. Then it was over. No invoice. That shocked me more than the coffee.
u/theo_ramirez1h ago
Busted zipper plus groceries is such a specific trap. Next time maybe "the box, I've got the bag"? Half yes. I've been practicing halves.
u/hannah_brooks1h ago
Did you know the neighbor well, or was it almost-stranger help? Stranger-help is harder for me than friend-help, which is backwards, but here we are.
u/chris_moretti1h ago
I still say I've got it first, then I correct myself. "Wait, actually yes." The correction is the practice. Landing was the right place to feel stupid. Feeling stupid didn't mean it was dangerous.
u/jordan_hale58m ago
Airport rides were my last boss fight. Package on the stairs is a good starting boss. I'd take the help and then text a friend I did it, otherwise my brain rewrites the scene as a close call.