c/trauma·Posted by u/daniel_cho·1h ago
My body remembers something I can't put into a clean story. Anyone else?
On the bus Tuesday I realized my jaw was locked and my left hand was in a fist around the pole. Nothing was happening. Same route I take every week. No one even spoke to me. I tried to attach a reason — did I forget an email, did I sleep badly — and none of it fit. It was more like my body clocked in for a shift my mind didn't remember scheduling. By the time I got to my stop I was exhausted and I hadn't even done anything. I don't have a clean story that matches the fist. I'm not hunting for one in public. I just wish the body would send a memo in words. If your body does this — remembers something you can't narrate — what do you actually do on the bus? I keep sitting there arguing with my own hands.
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/lila_nguyen1h ago
I put both feet flat and count the stops out loud in my head. Not fancy. Gives my jaw something else to do besides clench. Still get off tired some days.
u/sam_whitaker1h ago
Same route, same fist. For me it's the particular squeak of the brakes. I don't have a story for that either and I'm done forcing one on a Tuesday commute.
u/aisha_r1h ago
Do you notice it more going to work or coming home? Mine is the evening bus, which makes no sense because the day already happened.
u/chris_moretti1h ago
I unhook my hand on purpose even if it feels fake. Open, close, open. Looks like nothing. Better than arguing with a fist for eight stops.