c/trauma·Posted by u/jade_c·1h ago
I checked the locks twice and still don't feel safe in my own apartment. What helps?
I locked the door. Checked it. Checked the window latch. Checked the door again at 11:20 because the first check didn't "take." I'm in my own apartment. The hallway is quiet. Nothing happened today. I still sat on the couch with a show on and didn't feel like the room belonged to me. Shoes still on. Bag still packed by the chair, like I might need to leave a place I'm paying for. I'd get local emergency help if in danger. This is leftover watchfulness and it's embarrassing at my age to need the lock to click twice. What actually helps you feel like you can take the shoes off? Not a speech. A small thing you do after the second check so the night can start.
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/emma_fraser1h ago
I take the shoes off first, on purpose, even if the rest of me is still on duty. Bag can wait. Shoes were the thing that made it feel like a layover in my own living room.
u/marcus_quinn1h ago
I take a photo of the locked chain. Looks obsessive. Night-me believes a photo more than a memory of checking. Then I put the phone face down.
u/nora_klein1h ago
Do you leave the TV on as company or as cover noise? I had to switch to a dumb cooking show because crime shows make the second lock check worse, obviously, and I still kept doing it.
u/aisha_r1h ago
I plug the kettle in after the second check. If I'm making tea I have to stay. Sounds like nothing. It's the only ritual that tells my feet we're not leaving.