c/trauma·Posted by u/sam_whitaker·1h ago
How do I explain always scanning a room without people calling me high-strung?
My friend said I'm "high-strung" because I picked the seat facing the door at the diner and I noticed when the cook dropped a pan. I laughed it off. I didn't have a sentence that wasn't going to make brunch weird. I'm not trying to be intense. I just know where the exits are and I hear the room whether I want to or not. At work they think I'm detail-oriented. At dinner it reads as me being wound too tight. I want language that's honest and not a lecture. Something I can say to a friend that doesn't sound like I'm fragile or like I'm accusing the diner. How do you explain that you're watching without making people feel watched? What have you actually said that landed instead of "I'm just high-strung"?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/elena_v1h ago
I say "I listen with my whole body, it's a habit, I'm still here." That's it. No essay. My friend still teases me about the door seat but she stopped saying high-strung.
u/chris_moretti1h ago
Diner pan drop would get me too. I told one person "loud kitchens take a second" and then I asked about their food. Changing the subject after one line helped more than explaining myself.
u/jade_c59m ago
Do you want them to stop commenting, or do you want them to understand? Those are different sentences. I wanted them to stop, so I went with "old habit, not a mood."
u/omar_farouk58m ago
I let them have the booth back and I take the seat that still sees the door a little. Compromise. I still hear the pan. They get to feel like I relaxed. Messy math, but brunch survives.