c/trauma·Posted by u/maya_patel·1h ago
A certain tone of voice makes me feel nine in a work meeting. How do you come back?
In a standup this morning a coworker said "we need to be careful here" in a particular flat tone. Not yelling. Not even annoyed, maybe. And I felt nine. Like I should look at the table and wait to see if I was in trouble. I answered a simple question with too many words. Then went quiet. Spent the rest of the call watching their face on the tiny video square like it was a weather report. I know I'm 31. I know it was a product discussion. My stomach did not get the memo. How do you come back into the room when a tone does that? I don't want to leave the meeting. I also don't want to keep performing "adult at work" while I feel like I'm waiting in a hallway.
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/omar_farouk1h ago
"We need to be careful here" would get me too. Flat is worse than loud for me. I write one normal sentence in the chat ("got it, I'll check the numbers") so I have proof I was still 31 in the room.
u/elena_v1h ago
Too many words then quiet is my exact pattern. I keep a glass of water on the desk and take a sip before I answer. Buys three seconds so I don't over-explain like I'm defending a grade.
u/hannah_brooks1h ago
Is this coworker usually fine, or is it only that one phrase? I have one person at work whose "quick question" tone does it, and nobody else.
u/ravi_kapoor1h ago
I wiggle my toes in my shoes. Can't see it on camera. Sounds stupid. It's the only thing that reminds me I'm in a chair in 2026, not in a hallway.