c/self-esteem·Posted by u/lila_nguyen·1h ago
How do I stop saying sorry for things I didn't even do?
Someone bumped my chair in the kitchen at work and I said sorry. They said "that was me" and I said sorry again. I counted yesterday: eleven apologies before lunch. Two were for existing in a doorway. One was for an email that was on time. I even apologized to the barista when they got my name wrong. My roommate pointed it out after I said sorry for taking the last yogurt that I had bought. I laughed it off and then replayed it. I don't think I'm being polite anymore. It feels like I'm announcing that I'm in the way. I tried keeping a tally in my notes app and it made me more self-conscious, not less. What actually worked for you besides "just stop saying it"?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/sam_whitaker1h ago
Same. I say sorry when someone else is late to a call. Like I caused the traffic.
u/nora_klein1h ago
I swapped "sorry" for "thanks for waiting" in emails. Took a month before it didn't feel rude.
u/theo_ramirez59m ago
Does it come out more at work or with friends? For me it's doorways and Slack.
u/jade_c57m ago
I started catching the second sorry. The first one still slips. The encore is the one I can usually swallow.