c/self-esteem·Posted by u/theo_ramirez·1h ago
How do I ask for a raise when I don't actually believe I deserve one?
My review is in three weeks. Two people on my team who started after me already make more. I have the numbers in a doc: projects shipped, the client we didn't lose, the late nights in March. I still hear myself practicing the ask and then adding "only if it makes sense" at the end. Last year I didn't ask at all. I told myself I was lucky to be here. This year my manager hinted I should "come with a number." I have a number. I also have a list of every ticket I closed late and every meeting where I froze. I don't know how to walk in and ask for money I can justify on paper but not in my gut. Did you wait until you believed it, or did you ask while you still felt like a kid in adult clothes?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
4 comments
Log in to comment.
u/jade_c1h ago
I asked while I still felt like a kid. My voice was weird. I still got most of the number. Belief did not arrive first.
u/ravi_kapoor1h ago
Take the "only if it makes sense" sentence out of the script and practice without it. That sentence is where I used to give the raise back.
u/emma_fraser1h ago
Are you more stuck on the number itself or on saying it out loud in the room?
u/hannah_brooks58m ago
Bring the doc. Read from it if you have to. I did, and my manager didn't care that I wasn't smooth.