Why does I'm fine come out of my mouth when I am clearly not fine?

She asked how my day was while I was taking my shoes off. It had been a mess. A meeting that ran over, a comment from my manager that I am still chewing, traffic. I said 'I'm fine' and then stood in the hallway like I had hung up on myself. She went back to the pan. I wanted her to ask again and also hoped she would not. Later on the couch I was short about the remote and she said she had asked. She had. I had used the two words that close the door and then got mad the door was closed. I do not think I am trying to be difficult. The automatic fine is just faster than the true version. How do you swap that sentence before the evening is already sideways?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.

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4 comments

u/maya_patel 17h ago
I replaced fine with 'long day, need ten minutes.' Still a script. At least it is a true script.
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u/chris_moretti 17h ago
Same hallway, same shoes. I started answering with one concrete thing, like the meeting ran over. Not a speech. Just not fine.
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u/jordan_hale 16h ago
Do you say fine more when you want comfort, or when you actually want to be left alone and then regret it?
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u/jade_c 16h ago
We have a code. If I say fine she can ask once more. If I say not now she waits. Took a while to not treat the second ask as a fight.
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