c/relationships·Posted by u/claire_d·4mo ago
My partner and I fight about the same things over and over. Is this normal or a red flag?
We can have a decent week and still slam into the same argument like it was waiting for us. I don't even have a clean name for it. I just know it keeps running the day. I'm not looking for a villain. I am looking for whether this can actually change. I figured if anyone would get it, it would be people here. Curious how other people live with this without turning it into their whole personality.
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/notfine_thanks4mo ago
Recurring fights about the same thing usually mean the underlying need isn't being met, not that the fight isn't being resolved.
u/maya_patel4mo ago
In therapy we call these 'perpetual problems' — 69% of relationship conflicts never fully resolve. The goal is dialogue, not solutions.
u/claire_d4mo ago
How long did it take before that started to feel true for you?
u/window_seat4mo ago
If you're the only one reading the books and starting the talks, that's data too.