c/personality·Posted by u/maya_patel·1h ago
Why do I get so irritable when someone changes plans at the last minute?
Friday I had dinner with a friend at 7. I'd already picked what to wear, left work on time, and was mentally done with the week. At 4:12 she texts that something came up and can we do Saturday instead. I typed of course no worries. Then I sat at my desk and was furious in a way that felt bigger than dinner. I wasn't even that excited about the restaurant. It was the shape of the evening disappearing. I had built the hours after 6 around it, and now there was a hole, and I didn't want to fill the hole, I wanted the original plan back. My sister says I need to be more flexible. I can be flexible when I choose it. When it gets chosen for me I go sharp. I'll still show up Saturday and be fine. The 4:12 slot is the problem. Is this control, or is it just how I handle time? How do you not take a moved dinner like a personal insult when you know it isn't?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
4 comments
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u/hannah_brooks1h ago
4:12 texts should be illegal. I get mean in my head and polite in the reply, same as you.
u/omar_farouk1h ago
I keep a backup thing ready, even a grocery run. Sounds sad. Stops the hole from eating the night.
u/lila_nguyen58m ago
Do you stay mad into Saturday, or does it burn off once you're actually at the table?
u/sam_whitaker57m ago
I started saying Saturday's tight, can we lock a time now? Half the friends got better. Half still do 4 p.m. chaos.