c/general·Posted by u/hannah_brooks·1h ago
Why do I feel lonely in a group chat that pings all day and never goes quiet?
We have a group chat from uni that never sleeps. Someone is always sending a voice note, a meme, a photo of a burnt dinner. I have forty unread most evenings. I open it on the bus, laugh at two things, type a reply, delete it, and lock the phone. Nobody has done anything wrong. They include me. I still feel like I am standing in a kitchen where everyone already has a conversation and I am holding a cup. Last week they planned a weekend I cannot make, and I put a cheerful have fun and then felt stupidly gutted, which I cannot explain because I was the one who said no. I almost sent a second message and then did not, which made the unread pile feel heavier. Does this happen in chats that are technically active? What do you do that is not mute it and disappear?
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/omar_farouk1h ago
Uni chats do this to me. I started sending one specific reply to one person, not the whole group. Felt more like a conversation and less like a kitchen I was hovering in.
u/lila_nguyen1h ago
The cheerful have-fun then gutted thing is so familiar. I now say I cannot make it and ask for a photo after, which is small but I am not performing cheer.
u/sam_whitaker1h ago
How many of them would you actually call? That question made my unread count feel less personal.