My anxiety is keeping my downstairs neighbor awake

My downstairs neighbor knocked last night and I immediately panicked because that is what I do. I was playing rollingriches, trying to calm down before bed and the second I heard the knock my stomach dropped. She was actually really nice. Too nice, almost. She said she knows I am not doing it on purpose but she can hear me pacing at night. Not just once in a while but most nights. She said it sounds like I am walking back and forth for hours and she has to be up early for work. I pace when my anxiety gets bad. I do not even notice I am doing it anymore. I live alone, work from home and nighttime is when my brain gets loud. Walking around is one of the only things that keeps me from spiraling. She said that shes not mad, just exhausted and that somehow made me feel worse than if she had yelled. Now I feel frozen in my own apartment, I ordered a rug and slippers but I keep thinking about how even my quiet coping mechanism became someone else’s problem. I am not angry at her at all she deserves sleep. I am just embarrassed that my anxiety is not as invisible as I thought it was and now even walking gets me anxious bc what if i wake her up. Has anyone else had their anxiety spill over onto someone else and not know how to stop feeling ashamed?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.

1 comment

u/malcolm_warren 4h ago
My downstairs neighbor knocked last night and I immediately panicked because that is what I do. I was playing rollingriches, trying to calm down before bed and the second I heard the knock my stomach dropped. She was actually really nice. Too nice, almost. She said she knows I am not doing it on purpose but she can hear me pacing at night. Not just once in a while but most nights. She said it sounds like I am walking back and forth for hours and she has to be up early for work. I pace when my anxiety gets bad. I do not even notice I am doing it anymore. I live alone, work from home and nighttime is when my brain gets loud. Walking around is one of the only things that keeps me from spiraling. She said that shes not mad, just exhausted and that somehow made me feel worse than if she had yelled. Now I feel frozen in my own apartment, I ordered a rug and slippers but I keep thinking about how even my quiet coping mechanism became someone else’s problem. I am not angry at her at all she deserves sleep. I am just embarrassed that my anxiety is not as invisible as I thought it was and now even walking gets me anxious bc what if i wake her up. Has anyone else had their anxiety spill over onto someone else and not know how to stop feeling ashamed?
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