c/attachment·Posted by u/tara_singh·4mo ago
Why do I self-sabotage relationships when things get good?
If they take longer than usual to reply, my whole body writes a breakup in the gap. I don't even have a clean name for it. I just know it keeps running the day. I've read the infographics. I still refresh the thread. I figured if anyone would get it, it would be people here. Curious how other people live with this without turning it into their whole personality.
Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.
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u/fatima_h4mo ago
Because closeness feels dangerous when you grew up learning that love comes with pain.
u/elena_v4mo ago
The urge to 'get ahead of the abandonment' is so sneaky. Awareness helps; it doesn't erase it overnight.
u/tara_singh4mo ago
How long did it take before that started to feel true for you?
u/nina_b4mo ago
It's not self-sabotage — it's a test. You're checking if they'll leave when you show your worst.
u/jules_moreau4mo ago
Yeah. The body gets there before the story does.