Why do I over-explain for an hour after a small disagreement?

We disagreed about whether to go to his friend's rooftop thing. Ten minutes, not even a fight. I said I was tired, he said he already told people I was coming. Fine. We compromised, I went for an hour. Then I spent the subway ride home typing a paragraph in notes about how I wasn't rejecting his friends, I was just low-energy, I still like Marcus, I still like rooftops, please don't think I'm pulling away. I sent a shorter version at 11:42pm. He replied "we're good" and I still wanted to add three more sentences. The disagreement was already over. I couldn't let the air be ordinary. Anyone else turn a small no into a closing argument, and how do you stop sending the midnight essay?

Peer discussion on askDr.app. Not therapy and not a substitute for professional care.

8

4

88

4 comments

Log in to comment.

u/theo_ramirez 1h ago
11:42pm notes-app essay is my brand. I started saving it overnight. In the morning it's embarrassing and I don't send it. "We're good" still feels too short though.
4
u/priya_nair 1h ago
I tell him "I'm about to over-explain, ignore the next text if it's long." He laughs. Sometimes I still send it. Less than before.
3
u/elena_v 59m ago
Was he actually worried you didn't like Marcus or was that your add-on? Mine is usually my add-on.
2
u/jade_c 57m ago
Same rooftop energy. I go, I leave after an hour, I do not send the manifesto. I send "home, tired, still like you." Four words. Itches. Works.
1